My senior year in high school I happily applied for scholarships to college and I was pretty excited about it, that is until I got rejection after rejection and no one would help me. Even my counselor treated me like I was a complete loser. I went from excited to depressed pretty fast. Even though I went to church and read my Bible all the time, I didn’t know how to apply it to my state of mind. I got into drugs the day after graduation. I was able to find a job, but it was a lousy one, with no future. One of my girlfriends suggested we go to Los Angeles and be hookers. It was the 60’s and I figured sex was about all I had going for me, so I thought that’s probably what I’d end up doing. My life was a mess.


Then the Lord came and rescued me. I was still struggling at the time. I’d gone to college, then nursing school and nothing was satisfying the emptiness I felt, nor did it take away the deeply-rooted fear that I could end up on the street as a prostitute. It’s funny how fears that we have at a very tender age twist their way into our very fiber and stay with us even when those fears don’t make any sense any more. I experienced this recently.


I was talking to a woman who was in a hard life situation. She’d lost her home, didn’t have work and had two young children to support. She was very afraid. She told me she goes to church and she has hope that God will help her. I prayed for her and told her He would for sure. I knew from the Bible that God would help this woman, but one part of me had an overwhelming feeling of pain. I was thrown right back into the day my girlfriend suggested we should go be hookers; inside of me, I went to that hopeless place and felt emotionally wrung out.


Though I told the woman of God’s love and mercy, I didn’t feel it myself. I became her; I became my old self, with nothing of a future—falling, falling, with only a little hope in God to hang on to.


When I realized that this happened way too often when I ministered to people, God did something so wonderful to instantly change me. It was right there with me all along, but I didn’t see it. I could feel the person’s despair but I wasn’t feeling the fact that I was living proof that the despair can turn into complete wonderful delight.


Yes, as a college-aged girl I was messed up, which has given me great empathy for people in situations like I was in, but God rescued me. When my brother invited me to go to a Christian Rock Festival, I went. Then I re-dedicated myself to the Lord and started to study His Word and began to understand what I read and apply it. I’m a success story now. I’m not ultra-rich by any standards, but I’m okay. I did it—never had to be a hooker. And as silly as that sounds now, back then it was very real. The Lord God saved me and the Lord Jesus took me. I’m living proof that there’s a way out and up.


My personal psalm is Psalm 40:1-3: “I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.”


Now I’m one of the top faux finishers in Las Vegas, a published Christian author who’s read in over 100 countries and 27 languages. My life is good. I have friends and family who love me and God’s given me the best job ever, to write for Him and help people.


Love, Carolyn




WINGS: A JOURNEY IN FAITH from the Earthly to the Heavenly   and WINGS: JOURNEY WITH JESUS


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